Freebsd Fortunes 7

When I was seven years old, I was once reprimanded by my mother for an act
of collective brutality in which I had been involved at school.  A group of
seven-year-olds had been teasing and tormenting a six-year-old.  "It is
always so," my mother said.  "You do things together which not one of you
would think of doing alone."  ...  Wherever one looks in the world of human
organization, collective responsibility brings a lowering of moral standards.
The military establishment is an extreme case, an organization which seems
to have been expressly designed to make it possible for people to do things
together which nobody in his right mind would do alone.
                -- Freeman Dyson, "Weapons and Hope"

When I was young we didn't have MTV; we
had to take drugs and go to concerts.
                -- Steven Pearl

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened
or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot
remember any but the things that never happened.  It is sad to go to
pieces like this but we all have to do it.
                -- Mark Twain

When I woke up this morning, my girlfriend asked if I had
slept well.  I said, "No, I made a few mistakes."
                -- Steven Wright

When I works, I works hard.
When I sits, I sits easy.
And when I thinks, I goes to sleep.

When I'm gone, boxing will be nothing again.  The fans with the cigars and
the hats turned down'll be there, but no more housewives and little men in
the street and foreign presidents.  It's goin' to be back to the fighter who
comes to town, smells a flower, visits a hospital, blows a horn and says
he's in shape.  Old hat.  I was the onliest boxer in history people asked
questions like a senator.
                -- Muhammad Ali

When I'm good, I'm great; but when I'm bad, I'm better.
                -- Mae West

When in charge ponder,
When in doubt mumble,
When in trouble delegate.

When in doubt, do it.  It's much easier
to apologize than to get permission.
                -- Grace Murray Hopper

When in doubt, do what the President does -- guess.