Linux Kids

        The courtroom was pregnant (pun intended) with anxious silence as the
judge solemnly considered his verdict in the paternity suit before him.
Suddenly, he reached into the folds of his robes, drew out a cigar and
ceremoniously handed it to the defendant.
        "Congratulations!" declaimed the jurist.  "You have just become a
father!"

The denunciation of the young is a necessary part of the hygiene of older
people, and greatly assists in the circulation of the blood.
                -- Logan Pearsall Smith

The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of a remarkable
Christian forbearance among men.
                -- Ambrose Bierce

The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents and the second half
by our children.
                -- Clarence Darrow

The full impact of parenthood doesn't hit you until you multiply the
number of your kids by thirty-two teeth.

The future is a myth created by insurance salesmen and high school counselors.

The good die young -- because they see it's no use living if you've got
to be good.
                -- John Barrymore

The idea is to die young as late as possible.
                -- Ashley Montague

The modern child will answer you back before you've said anything.
                -- Laurence J. Peter

"The only real way to look younger is not to be born so soon."
                -- Charles Schulz, "Things I've Had to Learn Over and
                   Over and Over"