Linux Kids
fortune: 46 - 55 of 150 from linux kids
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Sep 23, 2018
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Linux Kids

Fortune: 46 - 55 of 150 from Linux Kids

Linux Kids:  46 of 150

How sharper than a serpent's tooth is a sister's "See?"
                -- Linus Van Pelt
 
Linux Kids:  47 of 150

"Humpf!" Humpfed a voice! "For almost two days you've run wild and insisted on
chatting with persons who've never existed.  Such carryings-on in our peaceable
jungle!  We've had quite enough of you bellowing bungle!  And I'm here to
state," snapped the big kangaroo, "That your silly nonsensical game is all
through!"  And the young kangaroo in her pouch said, "Me, too!"
        "With the help of the Wickersham Brothers and dozens of Wickersham
Uncles and Wickersham Cousins and Wickersham In-Laws, whose help I've engaged,
You're going to be roped!  And you're going to be caged!  And, as for your dust
speck...  Hah! That we shall boil in a hot steaming kettle of Beezle-Nut oil!"
                -- Dr. Seuss "Horton Hears a Who"
 
Linux Kids:  48 of 150

I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always
end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy brows."  Then they would get
embarrassed because they remembered they had the big hunky brows too, and
they'd get mad and eat the snowman.
                -- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.
 
Linux Kids:  49 of 150

I called my parents the other night, but I forgot about the time difference.
They're still living in the fifties.
                -- Strange de Jim
 
Linux Kids:  50 of 150

        I did some heavy research so as to be prepared for "Mommy, why is
the sky blue?"
        HE asked me about black holes in space.
        (There's a hole *where*?)

        I boned up to be ready for, "Why is the grass green?"
        HE wanted to discuss nature's food chains.
        (Well, let's see, there's ShopRite, Pathmark...)

        I talked about Choo-Choo trains.
        HE talked internal combustion engines.
        (The INTERNAL COMBUSTION ENGINE said, "I think I can, I think I can.")

        I was delighted with the video game craze, thinking we could compete
as equals.
        HE described the complexities of the microchips required to create
the graphics.

        Then puberty struck.  Ah, adolescence.
        HE said, "Mom, I just don't understand women."
        (Gotcha!)
                -- Betty LiBrizzi, "The Care and Feeding of a Gifted Child"
 
Linux Kids:  51 of 150

I hate babies.  They're so human.
                -- H.H. Munro
 
Linux Kids:  52 of 150

I know what "custody" [of the children] means.  "Get even."  That's all
custody means.  Get even with your old lady.
                -- Lenny Bruce
 
Linux Kids:  53 of 150

I love children.  Especially when they cry -- for then someone takes them away.
                -- Nancy Mitford
 
Linux Kids:  54 of 150

I opened the drawer of my little desk and a single letter fell out, a
letter from my mother, written in pencil, one of her last, with unfinished
words and an implicit sense of her departure.  It's so curious: one can
resist tears and "behave" very well in the hardest hours of grief.  But
then someone makes you a friendly sign behind a window... or one notices
that a flower that was in bud only yesterday has suddenly blossomed... or
a letter slips from a drawer... and everything collapses.
                -- Letters From Colette
 
Linux Kids:  55 of 150

I tell ya, I was an ugly kid.  I was so ugly that my dad kept the kid's
picture that came with the wallet he bought.
                -- Rodney Dangerfield
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