Linux Kids

It must have been some unmarried fool that said "A child can ask questions
that a wise man cannot answer"; because, in any decent house, a brat that
starts asking questions is promptly packed off to bed.
                -- Arthur Binstead

It now costs more to amuse a child than it once did to educate his father.

It's never too late to have a happy childhood.

Kids always brighten up a house; mostly by leaving the lights on.

Kids have *never* taken guidance from their parents.  If you could
travel back in time and observe the original primate family in the
original tree, you would see the primate parents yelling at the primate
teenager for sitting around and sulking all day instead of hunting for
grubs and berries like dad primate.  Then you'd see the primate
teenager stomp up to his branch and slam the leaves.
                -- Dave Barry, "Kids Today: They Don't Know Dum Diddly Do"

Lies!  All lies!  You're all lying against my boys!
                -- Ma Barker

Life does not begin at the moment of conception or the moment of birth.
It begins when the kids leave home and the dog dies.

Life is a sexually transmitted disease with 100% mortality.

Life is like a diaper -- short and loaded.

Literature is mostly about having sex and not much about having children.
Life is the other way around.
                -- David Lodge, "The British Museum is Falling Down"