Humor, quotes, proverbs, aphorisms, maxims & adages - Linux-Unix (FreeBSD) Fortune Cookies

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Nov 24, 2024

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Welcome to Motd

Message of the day, also known as "fortunes" or "fortune cookies", derived from various FreeBSD and Linux sources.

Have a phrase/quote/joke in mind but only remember something somewhat vaguely? The search box (left) may yield some pleasant surprises.

A staple for Unix/Linux users for decades, but largely unknown to the public, it's hard to describe this incredible collection. Not only

amusing, arch, facetious, pithy, humorous, ironic, jocose, keen, satirical, sharp, smart, taunting, witty, biting ...

the collection is also a fascinating view of the cultural history of the computer, priesthood and users, through the Unix looking glass.

Enjoy! and don't forget to vote for your favorite "Best" and "Worst" of Fortunes.

Advisory: Occasional strong language. Discretion advised specially for the Limericks.

Today's Fortunes

Nov 24, 2024

(1) Office employees will daily sweep the floors, dust the ...
(1) Office employees will daily sweep the floors, dust the furniture, shelves, and showcases. (2) Each day fill lamps, clean chimneys, and trim wicks. Wash the windows once a week. (3) Each clerk will bring a bucket of water and a scuttle of coal for the day's...

(6) Men employees will be given time off each week...
(6) Men employees will be given time off each week for courting purposes, or two evenings a week if they go regularly to church. (7) After an employee has spent his thirteen hours of labor in the office, he should spend the remaining time reading the Bible...

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair...
A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back the when it begins to rain. -- Robert Frost

A boss with no humor is like a job that's no fun.
A boss with no humor is like a job that's no fun.

A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money,...
A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as afterward.

Daily Fortunes for Nov 24, 2024 (today)

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