Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Friday January 29, 2016

There once was a man named Lodge, who had seatbelts installed...
There once was a man named Lodge, who had seatbelts installed in his Dodge. When his date was strapped in, He committed a sin, without ever leaving the garage.

There was a young fellow named Skinner Who took a young lady...
There was a young fellow named Skinner Who took a young lady to dinner At a quarter to nine, They sat down to dine, At twenty to ten it was in her. The dinner, not Skinner -- Skinner was in her before dinner. There was a young fellow...

There was a young man from Calcutta Who was heard in his beard...
There was a young man from Calcutta Who was heard in his beard to mutter, "If her Bartholin glands Don't respond to my hands, I'm afraid I shall have to use butter."

There was a young man named Rex Who really was small for...
There was a young man named Rex Who really was small for his sex. When tried for exposure The judge's disclosure Was "de minimus non curat lex."