Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Saturday September 10, 2016

Get GUMMed --- ------ The Gurus of Unix...
Get GUMMed --- ------ The Gurus of Unix Meeting of Minds (GUMM) takes place Wednesday, April 1, 2076 (check THAT in your perpetual calendar program), 14 feet above the ground directly in front of the Milpitas Gumps. Members will...

A frustrated lady named Alice Used a dynamite stick for...
A frustrated lady named Alice Used a dynamite stick for a phallus. They found her vagina In North Carolina And bits of her tits were in Dallas.

A lady, while dining in Crewe, Found an elephant's whang in...
A lady, while dining in Crewe, Found an elephant's whang in her stew. Said the waiter, "Don't shout Or wave it about Or the others will ask for one, too."

A man was once heard to boast, That he received a parcel...
A man was once heard to boast, That he received a parcel by post, It contained, so we heard, A magnificent turd, And the balls of his grandfather's ghost.