Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Saturday September 24, 2016

3M, under the Scotch brand name, manufactures a fine adhesive...
3M, under the Scotch brand name, manufactures a fine adhesive for art and display work. This product is called "Craft Mount". 3M suggests that to obtain the best results, one should make the bond "while the adhesive is wet, aggressively...

What is important is food, money and opportunities for scoring...
What is important is food, money and opportunities for scoring off one's enemies. Give a man these three things and you won't hear much squawking out of him. -- Brian O'Nolan, "The Best of Myles"

What luck for the rulers that men do not think...
What luck for the rulers that men do not think. -- Adolph Hitler

There once was a young man from Yuma, Who told an elephant joke...
There once was a young man from Yuma, Who told an elephant joke to a puma. Now his dry bleached bones lie, Under hot Asian skies, 'Cause the puma had no sense of huma.