Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Thursday September 15, 2016

There was a young girl who begat Three babies named Nat,...
There was a young girl who begat Three babies named Nat, Pat and Tat. T'was fun in the breeding But hell in the feeding When she found there's no tit for Tat.

There was a young lady at sea Who complained that it hurt...
There was a young lady at sea Who complained that it hurt her to pee. Said the brawny old mate, "That accounts for the state Of the cook and the captain and me."

If anyone has seen my dog, please contact me at x2883 as soon...
If anyone has seen my dog, please contact me at x2883 as soon as possible. We're offering a substantial reward. He's a sable collie, with three legs, blind in his left eye, is missing part of his right ear and the tip of his tail. He's been recently...