Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Monday January 9, 2017

There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out...
There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out of brass. When they clanged together, They played "Stormy Weather", And lightning shot out of his ass.

There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin As he wiped off his chin, "If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it."

There once was a young girl from Natches Who chanced to be born...
There once was a young girl from Natches Who chanced to be born with two snatches She often said, "Shit! I'd give either tit For a guy with equipment that matches."

There was a gay countess of Bray, And you may think it odd when...
There was a gay countess of Bray, And you may think it odd when I say, That in spite of high station, Rank and education, She always spelled cunt with a 'k'.

There was a young fellow named Bill, Who took an atomic pill, ...
There was a young fellow named Bill, Who took an atomic pill, His navel corroded, His asshole exploded, And they found his nuts in Brazil.