Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Friday April 7, 2017

There was a young man from New Haven Who had an affair with...
There was a young man from New Haven Who had an affair with a raven. He said with a grin As he wiped off his chin, "Nevermore!"

Being Ymor's right-hand man was like being gently flogged...
Being Ymor's right-hand man was like being gently flogged to death with scented bootlaces. -- Terry Pratchett, "The Colour of Magic"

I cannot overemphasize the importance of good grammar. What...
I cannot overemphasize the importance of good grammar. What a crock. I could easily overemphasize the importance of good grammar. For example, I could say: "Bad grammar is the leading cause of slow, painful death in North America,"...

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make...
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception. -- Groucho Marx

I'll be comfortable on the couch. Famous last words...
I'll be comfortable on the couch. Famous last words. -- Lenny Bruce

You can't have everything. Where would you put it? ...
You can't have everything. Where would you put it? -- Steven Wright