Freebsd Fortunes 3

Democracy is the worst form of government except all those other
forms that have been tried from time to time.
                -- Winston Churchill

Democracy, n:
        A government of the masses.  Authority derived through mass meeting
or any other form of direct expression.  Results in mobocracy.  Attitude
toward property is communistic... negating property rights.  Attitude toward
law is that the will of the majority shall regulate, whether it is based
upon deliberation or governed by passion, prejudice, and impulse, without
restraint or regard to consequences.  Result is demagogism, license,
agitation, discontent, anarchy.
                -- U. S. Army Training Manual No. 2000-25 (1928-1932),
                   since withdrawn.

Democracy, n:
        In which you say what you like and do what you're told.
                -- Gerald Barry

The difference between a Democracy and a Dictatorship is that in a
Democracy you vote first and take orders later; in a Dictatorship
you don't have to waste your time voting.
                -- Charles Bukowski

Democrats buy most of the books that have been banned somewhere.
Republicans form censorship committees and read them as a group.

Republicans consume three-fourths of the rutabaga produced in the USA.
The remainder is thrown out.

Republicans usually wear hats and almost always clean their paint brushes.

Republicans study the financial pages of the newspaper.
Democrats put them in the bottom of the bird cage.

Most of the stuff alongside the road has been thrown out of car
windows by Democrats.
                -- Paul Dickson, "The Official Rules"

Dental health is next to mental health.

Dentist:
        A Prestidigitator who, putting metal in one's mouth,
        pulls coins out of one's pockets.
                -- Ambrose Bierce

Denver, n:
        A smallish city located just below the `O' in Colorado.

Depart in pieces, i.e., split.

Depart not from the path which fate has assigned you.

Department chairmen never die, they just lose their faculties.