Humor: Best of Fortunes for Friday June 28, 2013

"Whip me. Beat me. Make me maintain AIX." (By...
"Whip me. Beat me. Make me maintain AIX." (By Stephan Zielinski)

I've finally found the perfect girl, I couldn't ask...
I've finally found the perfect girl, I couldn't ask for more, She's deaf and dumb and over-sexed, And owns a liquor store.

There's amnesia in a hangknot, And comfort in the ax, But...
There's amnesia in a hangknot, And comfort in the ax, But the simple way of poison will make your nerves relax. There's surcease in a gunshot, And sleep that comes from racks, But a handy draft of poison avoids the harshest...