Humor: Best of Fortunes for Monday November 17, 2014

There was a young fellow named Bowen Whose pecker kept growin'...
There was a young fellow named Bowen Whose pecker kept growin' and growin'. It grew so tremendous, So long and so pendulous, 'Twas no good for fuckin' -- just showin'.

A wonderful bird is the pelican. His mouth can hold more than...
A wonderful bird is the pelican. His mouth can hold more than his belican. He can take in his beak Enough food for a week. I'm darned if I know how the helican.

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!

There once was a whore from Regina Who had a stupendous...
There once was a whore from Regina Who had a stupendous vagina. To save herself time, She had six at a time, And another one working behind her.

There was a young Jew of Far Rockaway Whose screams could...
There was a young Jew of Far Rockaway Whose screams could be heard for a block away. Perceiving his error, The Rabbi in terror Cried, "God! I have cut his whole cock away!"

There was a young girl from Peru, Who noticed her lovers were...
There was a young girl from Peru, Who noticed her lovers were few; So she walked out her door With a fig leaf, no more, And now she's in bed - with the flu.

There was a young girl named Heather Whose twitcher was made...
There was a young girl named Heather Whose twitcher was made out of leather. She made a queer noise, Which attracted the boys, By flapping the edges together.

There was a young girl of Coxsaxie Whose skirt was more mini...
There was a young girl of Coxsaxie Whose skirt was more mini than maxi. She was fucked at the show In the twenty-third row, And once more going home in the taxi.

There was a young man of Missouri Who fucked with a terrible...
There was a young man of Missouri Who fucked with a terrible fury. Till hauled into court For his beastial sport, And condemned by a poorly-hung jury.

There was an old lady who lay With her legs wide apart in...
There was an old lady who lay With her legs wide apart in the hay, Then, calling the ploughman, She said, "Do it now, man! Don't wait till your hair has turned gray."

You will be awarded some great honor.
You will be awarded some great honor.