Humor: Best of Fortunes for Sunday December 21, 2014

There once was a man from Racine, Who invented a screwing...
There once was a man from Racine, Who invented a screwing machine. Both concave and convex, It could please either sex, But, oh, what a bastard to clean!

A computer, to print out a fact, Will divide, multiply,...
A computer, to print out a fact, Will divide, multiply, and subtract. But this output can be No more than debris, If the input was short of exact. -- Gigo

A fellow whose surname was Hunt Trained his cock to perform...
A fellow whose surname was Hunt Trained his cock to perform a slick stunt: This versatile spout Could be turned inside out, Like a glove, and be used as a cunt.

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!

There was a young girl from St. Paul Who went to a newspaper...
There was a young girl from St. Paul Who went to a newspaper ball. Her dress caught on fire And burnt her entire Front page and sport section and all.

Look afar and see the end from the beginning.
Look afar and see the end from the beginning.

The important thing to remember about walking on eggs is not...
The important thing to remember about walking on eggs is not to hop.