Humor: Best of Fortunes for Thursday January 1, 2015

A scream from the crypt of St. Giles Resounded for miles upon...
A scream from the crypt of St. Giles Resounded for miles upon miles. Said the friar, "Good gracious, The brother Ignatious Forgeteth the abbot hath piles."

An Argentine gaucho named Bruno Who said, "Fucking is...
An Argentine gaucho named Bruno Who said, "Fucking is one thing I do know. Women are fine And sheep are divine But llamas are numero uno."

An ambitious lady named Harriet Once dreamed she was raped in...
An ambitious lady named Harriet Once dreamed she was raped in a chariot By seventeen sailors A monk and three tailors, Mohammed and Judas Iscariot.

An anonymous woman we knew Was dozing one day in her pew; ...
An anonymous woman we knew Was dozing one day in her pew; When the preacher yelled "Sin!" She said, "Count me in As soon as the service is through."

An architect fellow named Yoric Could, when feeling euphoric, ...
An architect fellow named Yoric Could, when feeling euphoric, Display for selection Three kinds of erection- Corinthian,ionic,and doric.

There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town...
There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town in an Austin, There was room for his ass, And a gallon of gas, So he hung out his balls and he lost 'em.

There was a young lady named Nelly Whose tits would jiggle like...
There was a young lady named Nelly Whose tits would jiggle like jelly. They could tickle her twat Or be tied in a knot, And could even swat flies on her belly.