Freebsd Fortunes

"I had to hit him -- he was starting to make sense."

"I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day cause that means
it's going to be up all night."
                -- Steven Wright

"I hate quotations."
                -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I have a simple philosophy:

        Fill what's empty.
        Empty what's full.
        Scratch where it itches.
                -- A. R. Longworth

"I have a very firm grasp on reality!  I can reach out and strangle it
any time!"

"I have come up with a sure-fire concept for a hit television show,
which would be called `A Live Celebrity Gets Eaten by a Shark'."
                -- Dave Barry, "The Wonders of Sharks on TV"

I have discovered the art of deceiving diplomats. I tell them the truth
and they never believe me.
                -- Camillo Di Cavour

I have great faith in fools -- self confidence my friends call it.
                -- Edgar Allan Poe

"I have just read your lousy review buried in the back pages.  You
sound like a frustrated old man who never made a success, an
eight-ulcer man on a four-ulcer job, and all four ulcers working.  I
have never met you, but if I do you'll need a new nose and plenty of
beefsteak and perhaps a supporter below.  Westbrook Pegler, a
guttersnipe, is a gentleman compared to you.  You can take that as more
of an insult than as a reflection on your ancestry."
                -- President Harry S Truman

I have learned
To spell hors d'oeuvres
Which still grates on
Some people's n'oeuvres.
                -- Warren Knox