Humor: Best of Fortunes for Sunday July 31, 2016

There once was a girl from Madras Who had such a beautiful...
There once was a girl from Madras Who had such a beautiful ass - It was not round and pink (As you bastards think) But had two ears, a tail, and ate grass.

Carperpetuation (kar' pur pet u a shun), n.: The act,...
Carperpetuation (kar' pur pet u a shun), n.: The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance...

Carson's Consolation: Nothing is ever a complete...
Carson's Consolation: Nothing is ever a complete failure. It can always be used as a bad example.