Humor: Best of Fortunes for Tuesday July 12, 2016

There was a young girl from East Lynn Whose mother ( to save...
There was a young girl from East Lynn Whose mother ( to save her from sin ) Had filled up her crack With hard-setting shellac, But the boys picked it out with a pin.

Captain Penny's Law: You can fool all of the people...
Captain Penny's Law: You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you Can't Fool Mom.

The common cormorant, or shag, Lays eggs inside a paper...
The common cormorant, or shag, Lays eggs inside a paper bag; The reason, you will see, no doubt, Is to keep the lightning out. But what these unobservant birds Have failed to notice is that herds Of bears may come with buns And steal the bags to hold...

The glances over cocktails That seemed to be so sweet Don't...
The glances over cocktails That seemed to be so sweet Don't seem quite so amorous Over Shredded Wheat