Freebsd Fortunes 7

You know you're in trouble when...
(1)     You've been at work for an hour before you notice that your
                skirt is caught in your pantyhose.
(2)     Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife.
(3)     Your income tax check bounces.
(4)     You put both contact lenses in the same eye.
(5)     Your wife says, "Good morning, Bill" and your name is George.
(6)     You wake up to the soothing sound of flowing water... the day
                after you bought a waterbed.
(7)     You go on your honeymoon to a remote little hotel and the desk
                clerk, bell hop, and manager have a "Welcome Back" party
                for your spouse.

You know you've been sitting in front of your Lisp machine too long
when you go out to the junk food machine and start wondering how to
make it give you the CADR of Item H so you can get that yummie
chocolate cupcake that's stuck behind the disgusting vanilla one.

You know you've landed gear-up when it takes full power to taxi.

You learn to write as if to someone else
because NEXT YEAR YOU WILL BE "SOMEONE ELSE".

You like to form new friendships and make new acquaintances.

You lived with a man who wore white belts?
Laura, I'm disappointed in you.
                -- Remington Steele

You look tired.

You love peace.

You love your home and want it to be beautiful.

You may already be a loser.
                -- Form letter received by Rodney Dangerfield.