Freebsd Fortunes 7

Your digestive system is your body's Fun House, whereby food goes on a long,
dark, scary ride, taking all kinds of unexpected twists and turns, being
attacked by vicious secretions along the way, and not knowing until the last
minute whether it will be turned into a useful body part or ejected into the
Dark Hole by Mister Sphincter.  We Americans live in a nation where the
medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe
25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in
seconds if we felt like it.
                -- Dave Barry, "Stay Fit & Healthy Until You're Dead"

Your domestic life may be harmonious.

Your education begins where what is called your education is over.

Your fault - core dumped

Your files are now being encrypted and thrown into the bit bucket.
EOF

Your fly might be open (but don't check it just now).

YOUR FOAMY FUTURE
        by Miss Fortune

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18)
        You have nothing better to think about than what to wear and what
type of champagne to take to the neighbors Halloween Party.  Just take beer!
Don't try to copy the "Joneses", pull them up to your level and remember, in
California Hoalloween is redundant anyhow.

PISCES (Feb. 19 - March 20)
        Focus on strengthening friendships this Fall.  You find others are
fascinated by your intelligence, your wit, your drinking ability, and your
bank account.  Just make sure you realize it's far more impressive when
other discover your good qualities without your help.

YOUR FOAMY FUTURE
        by Miss Fortune

ARIES (March 21 - April 19)
        Matters are not good, where you health is concerned.  This Fall, be
sure to "walk groundly, talk profoundly, drink roundly, and sleep soundly"
and you will live all the days of your life.

TAURUS (April 20 - May 20)
        You spent a fortune on beer this past summer and now find yourself
in a deep depression because you can't afford even one of your favorite
brewskis.  Don't fret too much, Taurus.  To get back on your feet simply
miss two car payments.

GEMINI (May 21 - June 21)
        You think you're falling in love with a person who has a lot in
common with yourself.  You both prefer ales, you've both tried your hand
at homebrewing, and you both want to visit every new brewpub that opens.
Sounds impressive but remember you really don't know your partner until
you meet in court.

YOUR FOAMY FUTURE
        by Miss Fortune

CANCER (Jun 22 - July 22)
        You've been awarded a clean bill of health this month and you feel
you owe it all to the excessive amount of Vitamin B, Iron, and Malt you get
in your beer.  Being healthy is admirable but don't you think you're going
to feel stupid one day lying in a hospital dying of nothing?

LEO (July 23 - August 22)
        You will soon acquire a large sum of money and will be in seventh
heaven as you head to the nearest Liquor Barn and buy all the beer they have
in stock.  Whoever said money couldn't buy happiness didn't know where to
shop.

VIRGO (August 23 - September 22)
        Your late night, beer drinking, "life in the fast lane" parties are
affecting your job production the next morning.  You feel a nine to five job
is not for a "party animal" such as yourself and may feel the need for a
career change.  Just remember, people who work sitting down get paid more
than people who work standing up.

Your friends will know you better in the first minute you
meet than your acquaintances will know you in a thousand years.
                -- Richard Bach, "Illusions"