Freebsd Fortunes 7

What scoundrel stole the cork from my lunch?
                -- J.D. Farley

What segment's this, that, laid to rest
On FHA0, is sleeping?
What system file, lay here a while      This, this is "acct.run,"
While hackers around it were weeping?   Accounting file for everyone.
                                        Dump, dump it and type it out,
                                        The file, the highseg of login.
Why lies it here, on public disk
And why is it now unprotected?
A bug in incant, made it thus.          Mount, mount all your DECtapes now
And copy the file somehow, somehow.     The problem has not been corrected.
                                        Dump, dump it and type it out,
                                        The file, the highseg of login.
                -- to Greensleeves

What sin has not been committed in the name of efficiency?

What soon grows old?  Gratitude.
                -- Aristotle

What, still alive at twenty-two,
A clean upstanding chap like you?
Sure, if your throat 'tis hard to slit,
Slit your girl's, and swing for it.
Like enough, you won't be glad,
When they come to hang you, lad:
But bacon's not the only thing
That's cured by hanging from a string.
So, when the spilt ink of the night
Spreads o'er the blotting pad of light,
Lads whose job is still to do
Shall whet their knives, and think of you.
                -- Hugh Kingsmill

What the deuce is it to me?  You say that we go around the sun.  If we went
around the moon it would not make a pennyworth of difference to me or my work.
                -- Sherlock Holmes, "A Study in Scarlet"

What the hell is it good for?
                -- Robert Lloyd (engineer of the Advanced Computing Systems
                   Division of IBM), to colleagues who insisted that the
                   microprocessor was the wave of the future, c. 1968

What the large print giveth, the small print taketh away.

What the scientists have in their briefcases is terrifying.
                -- Nikita Khruschev

What they said:
        What they meant:

"I recommend this candidate with no qualifications whatsoever."
        (Yes, that about sums it up.)
"The amount of mathematics she knows will surprise you."
        (And I recommend not giving that school a dime...)
"I simply can't say enough good things about him."
        (What a screw-up.)
"I am pleased to say that this candidate is a former colleague of mine."
        (I can't tell you how happy I am that she left our firm.)
"When this person left our employ, we were quite hopeful he would go
a long way with his skills."
        (We hoped he'd go as far as possible.)
"You won't find many people like her."
        (In fact, most people can't stand being around her.)
"I cannot reccommend him too highly."
        (However, to the best of my knowledge, he has never committed a
         felony in my presence.)