Freebsd Fortunes 7

When a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight,
it concentrates his mind wonderfully.
                -- Samuel Johnson

When a man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute.
But let him sit on a hot stove for a minute-- and it's longer than any
hour.  That's relativity.
                -- Albert Einstein

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him
keep her.
                -- Sacha Guitry

When a man you like switches from what he said a year ago, or four years
ago, he is a broad-minded man who has courage enough to change his mind
with changing conditions.  When a man you don't like does it, he is a
liar who has broken his promises.
                -- Franklin Adams

When a person goes on a diet, the first thing he loses is his temper.

When a place gets crowded enough to require ID's, social collapse is not
far away.  It is time to go elsewhere.  The best thing about space travel
is that it made it possible to go elsewhere.
                -- R.A. Heinlein, "Time Enough For Love"

When a shepherd goes to kill a wolf, and takes his dog along to see
the sport, he should take care to avoid mistakes.  The dog has certain
relationships to the wolf the shepherd may have forgotten.
                -- Robert Pirsig, "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance"

When a woman gives me a present I have always two surprises:
first is the present, and afterward, having to pay for it.
                -- Donnay

When a woman marries again it is because she detested her first husband.
When a man marries again, it is because he adored his first wife.
                -- Wilde

When alerted to an intrusion by tinkling glass or otherwise, 1) Calm
yourself 2) Identify the intruder 3) If hostile, kill him.

Step number 3 is of particular importance.  If you leave the guy alive
out of misguided softheartedness, he will repay your generosity of spirit
by suing you for causing his subsequent paraplegia and seek to force you
to support him for the rest of his rotten life.  In court he will plead
that he was depressed because society had failed him, and that he was
looking for Mother Teresa for comfort and to offer his services to the
poor.  In that lawsuit, you will lose.  If, on the other hand, you kill
him, the most that you can expect is that a relative will bring a wrongful
death action. You will have two advantages: first, there be only your
story; forget Mother Teresa.  Second, even if you lose, how much could
the bum's life be worth anyway?  A Lot less than 50 years worth of
paralysis.  Don't play George Bush and Saddam Hussein.  Finish the job.
                -- G. Gordon Liddy's Forbes column on personal security