Freebsd Fortunes 7

When I grow up, I want to be an honest
lawyer so things like that can't happen.
                -- Richard Nixon, as a boy, on the Teapot Dome scandal

When I have one foot in the grave I will tell the truth about women.  I
shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me, and say, "Do
what you like now."
                -- Tolstoy

When I hear a man applauded by the mob I always feel a pang of pity
for him.  All he has to do to be hissed is to live long enough.
                -- H.L. Mencken, "Minority Report"

When I kill, the only thing I feel is recoil.

When I said "we", officer, I was referring to
myself, the four young ladies, and, of course, the goat.

When I saw a sign on the freeway that said, "Los Angeles 445 miles," I said
to myself, "I've got to get out of this lane."
                -- Franklyn Ajaye

When I say the magic word to all these people, they will vanish forever.
I will then say the magic words to you, and you, too, will vanish -- never
to be seen again.
                -- Kurt Vonnegut Jr., "Between Time and Timbuktu"

When I sell liquor, it's called bootlegging; when my patrons serve
it on silver trays on Lake Shore Drive, it's called hospitality.
                -- Al Capone

When I think about myself,
I almost laugh myself to death,
My life has been one great big joke,    Sixty years in these folks' world
A dance that's walked                   The child I works for calls me girl
A song that's spoke,                    I say "Yes ma'am" for working's sake.
I laugh so hard I almost choke          Too proud to bend
When I think about myself.              Too poor to break,
                                        I laugh until my stomach ache,
                                        When I think about myself.
My folks can make me split my side,
I laughed so hard I nearly died,
The tales they tell, sound just like lying,
They grow the fruit,
But eat the rind,
I laugh until I start to crying,
When I think about my folks.
                -- Maya Angelou

When I was 16, I thought there was no hope for my father.
By the time I was 20, he had made great improvement.