Freebsd Fortunes 7

When the leaders speak of peace
The common folk know
That war is coming
When the leaders curse war
The mobilization order is already written out.

Every day, to earn my daily bread
I go to the market where lies are bought
Hopefully
I take my place among the sellers.
                -- Bertolt Brecht, "Hollywood"

When the lights are out, all women are fair.
                -- Plutarch

When the Ngdanga tribe of West Africa hold their moon love ceremonies,
the men of the tribe bang their heads on sacred trees until they get a
nose bleed, which usually cures them of that.
                -- Mike Harding, "The Armchair Anarchist's Almanac"

When the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem starts to look
like a nail.

When the President does it, that means it is not illegal.
                -- Richard Nixon

When the revolution comes, count your change.

When the saleman's car broke down, he walked to the nearest farmhouse to ask
if he could stay the night.  The farmer agreed to put him up.  "I live alone,"
he continued, "you can have the bedroom at the top of the stairs, to the
right."
        "Oh, never mind," the disappointed salesman said. "I think I'm in
the wrong joke."

When the sun shineth, make hay.
                -- John Heywood

When the Universe was not so out of whack as it is today, and all the
stars were lined up in their proper places, you could easily count them
from left to right, or top to bottom, and the larger and bluer ones were
set apart, and the smaller yellowing types pushed off to the corners as
bodies of a lower grade...
                -- Stanislaw Lem

When the usher noticed a man stretched across three seats in a movie theatre,
he walked over and whispered, "I'm sorry, sir, but you're allowed only a single
seat." The man moaned, but did not budge.  "Sir," the user said more loudly,
"if you don't move, I'll have to call a manager."  The man moaned again but
stayed where he was. The usher left, and returned with the manager, who, after
several more attempts at dislodging the fellow, called the police.
        The cop took a look at the reclining man and said, "All right, boyo,
what's your name?"
        "Samuel," he mumbled.
        "And where're you from, Sam?"
        "The balcony."