Freebsd Fortunes 7

When the Universe was not so out of whack as it is today, and all the
stars were lined up in their proper places, you could easily count them
from left to right, or top to bottom, and the larger and bluer ones were
set apart, and the smaller yellowing types pushed off to the corners as
bodies of a lower grade...
                -- Stanislaw Lem

When the usher noticed a man stretched across three seats in a movie theatre,
he walked over and whispered, "I'm sorry, sir, but you're allowed only a single
seat." The man moaned, but did not budge.  "Sir," the user said more loudly,
"if you don't move, I'll have to call a manager."  The man moaned again but
stayed where he was. The usher left, and returned with the manager, who, after
several more attempts at dislodging the fellow, called the police.
        The cop took a look at the reclining man and said, "All right, boyo,
what's your name?"
        "Samuel," he mumbled.
        "And where're you from, Sam?"
        "The balcony."

When the wind is great, bow before it;
when the wind is heavy, yield to it.

When there are two conflicting versions of the story, the wise course
is to believe the one in which people appear at their worst.
                -- H. Allen Smith, "Let the Crabgrass Grow"

When there is an old maid in the house, a watch dog is unnecessary.
                -- Balzac

When things go well, expect something to
explode, erode, collapse or just disappear.

When users see one GUI as beautiful,
other user interfaces become ugly.
When users see some programs as winners,
other programs become lossage.

Pointers and NULLs reference each other.
High level and assembler depend on each other.
Double and float cast to each other.
High-endian and low-endian define each other.
While and until follow each other.

Therefore the Guru
programs without doing anything
and teaches without saying anything.
Warnings arise and he lets them come;
processes are swapped and he lets them go.
He has but doesn't possess,
acts but doesn't expect.
When his work is done, he deletes it.
That is why it lasts forever.

When we are planning for posterity,
we ought to remember that virtue is not hereditary.
                -- Thomas Paine

When we jumped into Sicily, the units became separated, and I couldn't find
anyone.  Eventually I stumbled across two colonels, a major, three captains,
two lieutenants, and one rifleman, and we secured the bridge.  Never in the
history of war have so few been led by so many.
                -- General James Gavin

When we talk of tomorrow, the gods laugh.