Freebsd Fortunes 7
fortune: 511 - 520 of 1340 from freebsd fortunes 7
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Sep 25, 2017
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Freebsd Fortunes 7

Fortune: 511 - 520 of 1340 from Freebsd Fortunes 7

Freebsd Fortunes 7:  511 of 1340

WHEN YOU'RE RIDING IN A TIME MACHINE way far into the future, don't stick
your elbow out the window or it'll turn into a fossil.
                -- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.
 
Freebsd Fortunes 7:  512 of 1340

When you've seen one nuclear war, you've seen them all.
 
Freebsd Fortunes 7:  513 of 1340

Whenever a system becomes completely defined,
some damn fool discovers something which either
abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition.
 
Freebsd Fortunes 7:  514 of 1340

WHENEVER ANYBODY SAYS he's struggling to become a human being I have to
laugh because the apes beat him to it by about a million years.  Struggle
to become a parrot or something.
                -- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.
 
Freebsd Fortunes 7:  515 of 1340

Whenever anyone says, "theoretically," they really mean "not really".
                -- Dave Parnas
 
Freebsd Fortunes 7:  516 of 1340

Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?
                -- Rita Rudner
 
Freebsd Fortunes 7:  517 of 1340

Whenever I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes.
 
Freebsd Fortunes 7:  518 of 1340

Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel
a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.
                -- A. Lincoln
 
Freebsd Fortunes 7:  519 of 1340

Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct
is to laugh.  But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me.
Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.
                -- Jack Handey
 
Freebsd Fortunes 7:  520 of 1340

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
                -- Oscar Wilde
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