Freebsd Fortunes 7

Why I Can't Go Out With You:

I'd LOVE to, but...
        -- I have to floss my cat.
        -- I've dedicated my life to linguini.
        -- I need to spend more time with my blender.
        -- It wouldn't be fair to the other Beautiful People.
        -- It's my night to pet the dog/ferret/goldfish/radio.
        -- I'm going downtown to try on some gloves.
        -- I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.
        -- I'm due at the bakery to watch the buns rise.
        -- I have an appointment with a cuticle specialist.
        -- I have some really hard words to look up.

Why I Can't Go Out With You:

I'd LOVE to, but...
        -- I'm trying to see how long I can go without saying yes.
        -- I'm attending the opening of my garage door.
        -- The monsters haven't turned blue yet, and I have to eat more dots.
        -- I'm converting my calendar watch from Julian to Gregorian.
        -- I have to fulfill my potential.
        -- I don't want to leave my comfort zone.
        -- It's too close to the turn of the century.
        -- I have to bleach my hare.
        -- I'm worried about my vertical hold knob.
        -- I left my body in my other clothes.

Why I Can't Go Out With You:

I'd LOVE to, but...
        -- I've got a Friends of the Lowly Rutabaga meeting.
        -- I promised to help a friend fold road maps.
        -- I've been scheduled for a karma transplant.
        -- I'm staying home to work on my cottage cheese sculpture.
        -- It's my parakeet's bowling night.
        -- I'm building a plant from a kit.
        -- There's a disturbance in the Force.
        -- I'm doing door-to-door collecting for static cling.
        -- I'm teaching my ferret to yodel.
        -- My crayons all melted together.

Why is it called a funny bone when it hurts so much?

Why is it taking so long for her to bring out all the good in you?

Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral?
It is because we are not the person involved.
                -- Mark Twain

Why is the alphabet in that order?  Is it because of that song?
                -- Stephen Wright

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?
                -- Lily Tomlin

Why isn't there some cheap and easy
way to prove how much she means to me?

Why my thoughts are my own, when they are in, but when they are out they
are another's.
                 -- Susanna Martin, executed for witchcraft, 1681