Freebsd Fortunes 7

You are transported to a room where you are faced by a wizard who
points to you and says, "Them's fighting words!"  You immediately get
attacked by all sorts of denizens of the museum: there is a cobra
chewing on your leg, a troglodyte is bashing your brains out with a
gold nugget, a crocodile is removing large chunks of flesh from you, a
rhinoceros is goring you with his horn, a sabre-tooth cat is busy
trying to disembowel you, you are being trampled by a large mammoth, a
vampire is sucking you dry, a Tyranosaurus Rex is sinking his six inch
long fangs into various parts of your anatomy, a large bear is
dismembering your body, a gargoyle is bouncing up and down on your
head, a burly troll is tearing you limb from limb, several dire wolves
are making mince meat out of your torso, and the wizard is about to
transport you to the corner of Westwood and Broxton.  Oh dear, you seem
to have gotten yourself killed, as well.

You scored 0 out of 250 possible points.
That gives you a ranking of junior beginning adventurer.
To achieve the next higher rating, you need to score 32 more points.

You are wise, witty, and wonderful,
but you spend too much time reading this sort of trash.

You ask what a nice girl will do?
She won't give an inch, but she won't say no.
                -- Marcus Valerius Martialis

You attempt things that you do not even plan
because of your extreme stupidity.

You auto buy now.

"You boys lookin' for trouble?"
"Sure.  Whaddya got?"
                -- Marlon Brando, "The Wild Ones"

You buttered your bread, now lie in it!

You buy a judge by weight, like iron in a junk yard.  A justice of the
peace or a magistrate can be had for a five-dollar bill.  In the
municipal courts, he will cost you ten.  In the circuit or superior
courts, he wants fifteen.  The state appellate courts or the state
supreme court is on a par with the Federal courts.  By the time a judge
reaches such courts, he is middle-aged, thick around the middle, fat
between the ears.  He's heavy.  You can't buy a Federal judge for less
than a twenty-dollar bill.
                -- Jake "Greasy Thumb" Guzik

You can always pick up your needle and move to another groove.
                -- Tim Leary

You can always tell luck from ability by its duration.