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Psychics will soon lead dogs to your body.
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Psychoanalysis is that mental illness for which it regards itself
-- Karl Kraus
Psychiatry is the care of the id by the odd.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
-- C.G. Jung
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Someone who watches everyone else when an attractive woman walks
into a room.
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Psychologists think they're experimental psychologists.
Experimental psychologists think they're biologists.
Biologists think they're biochemists.
Biochemists think they're chemists.
Chemists think they're physical chemists.
Physical chemists think they're physicists.
Physicists think they're theoretical physicists.
Theoretical physicists think they're mathematicians.
Mathematicians think they're metamathematicians.
Metamathematicians think they're philosophers.
Philosophers think they're gods.
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Psychology. Mind over matter.
Mind under matter? It doesn't matter.
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Public use of any portable music system is a
virtually guaranteed indicator of sociopathic tendencies.
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Publishing a volume of verse is like dropping
a rose petal down the Grand Canyon and waiting for the echo.
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Anything that begins well will end badly.
(Note: The converse of Pudder's law is not true.)
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Punning is the worst vice, and there's no vice versa.
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Puns are little "plays on words" that a certain breed of person loves to
spring on you and then look at you in a certain self-satisfied way to indicate
that he thinks that you must think that he is by far the cleverest person
on Earth now that Benjamin Franklin is dead, when in fact what you are
thinking is that if this person ever ends up in a lifeboat, the other
passengers will hurl him overboard by the end of the first day even if they
have plenty of food and water.
-- Dave Barry