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Aug 16, 2018
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Fortune: 2299 - 2308 of 2327 from Freebsd Fortunes 4

Freebsd Fortunes 4:  2299 of 2327

Living in Hollywood is like living in a bowl of granola.
What ain't fruits and nuts is flakes.
 
Freebsd Fortunes 4:  2300 of 2327

Living in New York City gives people real incentives
to want things that nobody else wants.
                -- Andy Warhol
 
Freebsd Fortunes 4:  2301 of 2327

Living in the complex world of the future is somewhat
like having bees live in your head.  But, there they are.
 
Freebsd Fortunes 4:  2302 of 2327

Living on Earth may be expensive, but it
includes an annual free trip around the Sun.
 
Freebsd Fortunes 4:  2303 of 2327

LIVING YOUR LIFE:
        A task so difficult, it has never been attempted before.
 
Freebsd Fortunes 4:  2304 of 2327

Lizzie Borden took an axe,
And plunged it deep into the VAX;
Don't you envy people who
Do all the things YOU want to do?
 
Freebsd Fortunes 4:  2305 of 2327

Lo!  Men have become the tool of their tools.
                -- Henry David Thoreau
 
Freebsd Fortunes 4:  2306 of 2327

Lobster:
        Everyone loves these delectable crustaceans, but many cooks are
squeamish about placing them into boiling water alive, which is the only
proper method of preparing them.  Frankly, the easiest way to eliminate your
guilt is to establish theirs by putting them on trial before they're cooked.
The fact is, lobsters are among the most ferocious predators on the sea
floor, and you're helping reduce crime in the reefs.  Grasp the lobster
behind the head, look it right in its unmistakably guilty eyestalks and say,
"Where were you on the night of the 21st?", then flourish a picture of a
scallop or a sole and shout, "Perhaps this will refresh that crude neural
apparatus you call a memory!"  The lobster will squirm noticeably.  It may
even take a swipe at you with one of its claws.  Incorrigible.  Pop it into
the pot.  Justice has been served, and shortly you and your friends will
be, too.
                -- Dave Barry
 
Freebsd Fortunes 4:  2307 of 2327

Lobster:
  Everyone loves these delectable crustaceans, but many cooks are squeamish
  about placing them into boiling water alive, which is the only proper
  method of preparing them.  Frankly, the easiest way to eliminate your
  guilt is to establish theirs by putting them on trial before they're
  cooked.  The fact is, lobsters are among the most ferocious predators on
  the sea floor, and you're helping reduce crime in the reefs.  Grasp the
  lobster behind the head, look it right in its unmistakably guilty
  eyestalks and say, "Where were you on the night of the 21st?", then
  flourish a picture of a scallop or a sole and shout, "Perhaps this will
  refresh that crude neural apparatus you call a memory!"  The lobster will
  squirm noticeably.  It may even take a swipe at you with one of its claws.
  Incorrigible.  Pop it into the pot.  Justice has been served, and shortly
  you and your friends will be, too.
                -- Cooking: The Art of Turning Appliances and Utensils
                   into Excuses and Apologies
 
Freebsd Fortunes 4:  2308 of 2327

Lockwood's Long Shot:
        The chances of getting eaten up by a lion on Main Street
        aren't one in a million, but once would be enough.
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