Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of March, 2007

Matter cannot be created or destroyed, nor can it be returned...
Matter cannot be created or destroyed, nor can it be returned without a receipt.

"According to the Rand McNally Places-Rated Almanac,...
"According to the Rand McNally Places-Rated Almanac, the best place to live in America is the city of Pittsburgh. The city of New York came in twenty-fifth. Here in New York we really don't care too much. Because we know that we could beat...

F u cn rd ths u cnt spl wrth a dm!
F u cn rd ths u cnt spl wrth a dm!

Q: Somebody just posted that Roman Polanski directed Star Wars...
Q: Somebody just posted that Roman Polanski directed Star Wars. What should I do? A: Post the correct answer at once! We can't have people go on believing that! Very good of you to spot this. You'll probably be the only one to make...

A box without hinges, key, or lid, Yet golden treasure inside...
A box without hinges, key, or lid, Yet golden treasure inside is hid. -- J.R. Tolkien

Most of what I really need to know about how to live, and what...
Most of what I really need to know about how to live, and what to do, and how to be, I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sandbox at nursery school. These are the things...

God is not dead! He's alive and autographing Bibles at Cody's!
God is not dead! He's alive and autographing Bibles at Cody's!

Hummingbirds never remember the words to songs.
Hummingbirds never remember the words to songs.

I went to a place to eat. It said `BREAKFAST ANYTIME.' So...
I went to a place to eat. It said `BREAKFAST ANYTIME.' So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance. -- Stephen Wright

If you love something set it free. If it doesn't come back...
If you love something set it free. If it doesn't come back to you, hunt it down and kill it.