Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Monday October 24, 2016

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that...
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song? -- Stephen Wright

Winter is the season in which people try to keep the house...
Winter is the season in which people try to keep the house as warm as it was in the summer, when they complained about the heat.

Within a computer, natural language is unnatural.
Within a computer, natural language is unnatural.

Woman is generally so bad that the difference between a good...
Woman is generally so bad that the difference between a good and a bad woman scarcely exists. -- Tolstoy

Woman would be more charming if one could fall into her arms...
Woman would be more charming if one could fall into her arms without falling into her hands. -- DeGourmont

Women complain about sex more than men. Their gripes fall into...
Women complain about sex more than men. Their gripes fall into two categories: (1) Not enough and (2) Too much. -- Ann Landers

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!

I have ways of making money that you know nothing of...
I have ways of making money that you know nothing of. -- John D. Rockefeller