Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of January, 2018

A chap down in Oklahoma Had a cock that could sing La Paloma, ...
A chap down in Oklahoma Had a cock that could sing La Paloma, But the sweetness of pitch Couldn't put off the hitch Of impotence, size and aroma.

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!

There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town...
There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town in an Austin, There was room for his ass, And a gallon of gas, So he hung out his balls and he lost 'em.

There was a gay countess of Bray, And you may think it odd when...
There was a gay countess of Bray, And you may think it odd when I say, That in spite of high station, Rank and education, She always spelled cunt with a 'k'.

If you're right 90% of the time, why quibble about...
If you're right 90% of the time, why quibble about the remaining 3

f u cn rd ths, itn tyg h myxbl cd.
f u cn rd ths, itn tyg h myxbl cd.

Faith has never moved as much as a pin-head from the place...
Faith has never moved as much as a pin-head from the place it ought to be according to tradition and the scriptures. It is the doubt that moved all the mountains. -- Poul Henningsen [1894-1967]

A dreary young bank clerk named Fennis Wished to foster an aura...
A dreary young bank clerk named Fennis Wished to foster an aura of menace; To make people afraid He wore gloves of grey suede And white footgear intended for tennis. -- Edward Gorey

A fellow whose surname was Hunt Trained his cock to perform...
A fellow whose surname was Hunt Trained his cock to perform a slick stunt: This versatile spout Could be turned inside out, Like a glove, and be used as a cunt.

A nervous young fellow named Fred Took a charming young widow...
A nervous young fellow named Fred Took a charming young widow to bed. When he'd diddled a while She remarked with a smile, "You've got it all in but the head."