Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Sunday September 9, 2018

If we can ever make red tape nutritional, we can feed...
If we can ever make red tape nutritional, we can feed the world. -- R. Schaeberle, "Management Accounting"

A geneticist living in Delft Scientifically played with...
A geneticist living in Delft Scientifically played with himself, And when he was done He labled it: son, And filed him away on a shelf. A gentleman, otherwise meek, Detested with passion the leek; When offered one out...

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!

There once was a man from Sydney Who could put it up to...
There once was a man from Sydney Who could put it up to her kidney. But the man from Quebec Put it up to her neck; He had a big one, now didn't he?

There once was a man named Lodge, who had seatbelts installed...
There once was a man named Lodge, who had seatbelts installed in his Dodge. When his date was strapped in, He committed a sin, without ever leaving the garage.

There was a young man, name of Fred, Who spent every Thursday...
There was a young man, name of Fred, Who spent every Thursday in bed; He lay with his feet Outside of the sheet, And the pillows on top of his head. -- Edward Gorey