Daily Fortunes

Dec 22, 2015

Q: How do you know when you're in the <ethnic>...
Q: How do you know when you're in the <ethnic> section of Vermont? A: The maple sap buckets are hanging on utility poles.

Q: How do you play religious roulette? A: You stand...
Q: How do you play religious roulette? A: You stand around in a circle and blaspheme and see who gets struck by lightning first.

Q: How do you save a drowning lawyer? A: Throw him...
Q: How do you save a drowning lawyer? A: Throw him a rock.

Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant? A: With...
Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant? A: With a blue-elephant gun. Q: How do you shoot a pink elephant? A: Twist its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue-elephant gun.

Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging? A: Take...
Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging? A: Take away his credit cards.

Daily Fortunes for Dec 22, 2015

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