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Daily Fortunes

Dec 31, 2018

A newspaper is a circulating library with high blood pressure...
A newspaper is a circulating library with high blood pressure. -- Arthure "Bugs" Baer

A prominent broadcaster, on a big-game safari in Africa,...
A prominent broadcaster, on a big-game safari in Africa, was taken to a watering hole where the life of the jungle could be observed. As he looked down from his tree platform and described the scene into his tape recorder, he saw two gnus grazing peacefully. So preoccupied...

"A raccoon tangled with a 23,000 volt line today...
"A raccoon tangled with a 23,000 volt line today. The results blacked out 1400 homes and, of course, one raccoon." -- Steel City News

A young girl once committed suicide because her mother refused...
A young girl once committed suicide because her mother refused her a new bonnet. Coroner's verdict: "Death from excessive spunk." -- Sacramento Daily Union, September 13, 1860

Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in...
Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper. -- Thomas Jefferson

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