Freebsd Fortunes 6

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves     And as in uffish thought he stood
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe.        The Jabberwock, with eyes aflame
All mimsy were the borogroves           Came whuffling through the tulgey wood
And the mome raths outgrabe.            And burbled as it came!

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!         One! Two! One! Two!
The jaws that bite,                             and through and through
        the claws that catch!           The vorpal blade went snicker-snack.
Beware the Jubjub bird,                 He left it dead, and took its head,
And shun the frumious Bandersnatch!"    And went galumphing back.

He took his vorpal sword in hand        "Hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Long time the manxome foe he sought.    Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
So rested he by the tumtum tree         Oh frabjous day!  Calooh!  Callay!"
And stood awhile in thought.            He chortled in his joy.

                                        'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
                                        Did gyre and gimble in the wabe.
                                        All mimsy were the borogroves
                -- Lewis Carroll

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe.        "Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
All mimsy were the borogroves           The jaws that bite, the claws
And the mome raths outgrabe.                    that catch!
                                        Beware the Jubjub bird,
He took his vorpal sword in hand        And shun the frumious Bandersnatch!"
Long time the manxome foe he sought.
So rested he by the tumtum tree         And as in uffish thought he stood
And stood awhile in thought.            The Jabberwock, with eyes aflame
                                        Came whuffling through the tulgey wood
One! Two! One! Two!  And through and    And burbled as it came!
        through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack.    "Hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
He left it dead, and took its head,     Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
And went galumphing back.               Oh frabjous day!  Calooh!  Callay!"
                                        He chortled in his joy.
'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe.
All mimsy were the borogroves
And the mome raths outgrabe.
                -- Lewis Carroll, "Jabberwocky"

'Twas bullig, and the slithy brokers
Did buy and gamble in the craze         "Beware the Jabberstock, my son!
All rosy were the Dow Jones stokers     The cost that bites, the worth
By market's wrath unphased.                     that falls!
                                        Beware the Econ'mist's word, and shun
He took his forecast sword in hand:     The spurious Street o' Walls!"
Long time the Boesk'some foe he sought -
Sake's liquidity, so d'vested he,       And as in bearish thought he stood
And stood awhile in thought.            The Jabberstock, with clothes of tweed,
                                        Came waffling with the truth too good,
Chip Black! Chip Blue! And through      And yuppied great with greed!
        and through
The forecast blade went snicker-snack!  "And hast thou slain the Jabberstock?
It bit the dirt, and with its shirt,    Come to my firm,  V.P.ish  boy!
He went rebounding back.                O big bucks day! Moolah! Good Play!"
                                        He bought him a Mercedes Toy.
'Twas panic, and the slithy brokers
Did gyre and tumble in the Crash
All flimsy were the Dow Jones stokers
And mammon's wrath them bash!
                -- Peter Stucki, "Jabberstocky"

'Twas midnight, and the UNIX hacks
Did gyre and gimble in their cave
All mimsy was the CS-VAX
And Cory raths outgrave.

"Beware the software rot, my son!
The faults that bite, the jobs that thrash!
Beware the broken pipe, and shun
The frumious system crash!"

'Twas midnight on the ocean,            Her children all were orphans,
Not a streetcar was in sight,           Except one a tiny tot,
So I stepped into a cigar store         Who had a home across the way
To ask them for a light.                Above a vacant lot.

The man behind the counter              As I gazed through the oaken door
Was a woman, old and gray,              A whale went drifting by,
Who used to peddle doughnuts            Its six legs hanging in the air,
On the road to Mandalay.                So I kissed her goodbye.

She said "Good morning, stranger",      This story has a morale
Her eyes were dry with tears,           As you can plainly see,
As she put her head between her feet    Don't mix your gin with whiskey
And stood that way for years.           On the deep and dark blue sea.
                -- Midnight On The Ocean

'Twas the night before Christmas -- the very last one --
When the blazing of lasers destroyed all our fun.
Just as Santa had lifted off, driving his sleigh,
A satellite spotted him making his way.
The Star Wars Defense System -- Reagan's desire
Was ready for action, and started to fire!
The laser beams criss-crossed and lit up the sky
Like a fireworks show on the Fourth of July.
I'd just finished wrapping the last of the toys
When out of my chimney there came a great noise.
I looked to the fireplace, hoping to see
St. Nick bringing presents for missus and me.
But what I saw next was disturbing and shocking:
A flaming red jacket setting fire to my stocking!
Charred reindeer remains and a melted sleigh-bell;
Outside burning toys like confetti they fell.
So now you know, children, why Christmas is gone:
The Star Wars computer had got something wrong.
Only programmed for battle, it hadn't a heart;
'Twas hardly a chance it would work from the start.
It couldn't be tested, and no one could tell,
If the crazy contraption would work very well.
So after a trillion or two had been spent
The system thought Santa a Red missle sent.
So kids dry your tears now, and get off to bed,
There won't be a Christmas -- since Santa is dead.

Twenty two thousand days.
Twenty two thousand days.
It's not a lot.
It's all you've got.
Twenty two thousand days.
                -- Moody Blues, "Twenty Two Thousand Days"

Two battleships assigned to the training squadron had been at sea on maneuvers
in heavy weather for several days.  I was serving on the lead battleship and
was on watch on the bridge as night fell.  The visibility was poor with patchy
fog, so the Captain remained on the bridge keeping an eye on all activities.
        Shortly after dark, the lookout on the wing of the bridge reported,
"Light, bearing on the starboard bow."
        "Is it steady or moving astern?" the Captain called out.
        Lookout replied, "Steady, Captain," which meant we were on a dangerous
collision course with that ship.
        The Captain then called to the signalman, "Signal that ship: We are on
a collision course, advise you change course 20 degrees."
        Back came a signal "Advisable for you to change course 20 degrees."
        In reply, the Captain said, "Send: I'm a Captain, change course 20
degrees!"
        "I'm a seaman second class," came the reply, "You had better change
course 20 degrees."
        By that time, the Captain was furious. He spit out, "Send: I'm a
battleship, change course 20 degrees."
        Back came the flashing light: "I'm a lighthouse!"
        We changed course.
                -- The Naval Institute's "Proceedings"

Two can Live as Cheaply as One for Half as Long.
                -- Howard Kandel

Two cars in every pot and a chicken in every garage.