Freebsd Murphys Law

If it's clean, it isn't laundry.

A child will not spill on a dirty floor.

An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

Any child who chatters non-stop at home will adamantly
refuse to utter a word when requested to demonstrate
for an audience.

A shy, introverted child will choose a crowded public
area to loudly demonstrate new acquired vocabulary.

The probablility of a cat eating its dinner has
absolutely nothing to do with the price of the food
placed before it.

The probability that a household pet will raise a fuss
to go in or out is directly proportional to the number
and importance of your dinner guests.

The stomach expands to accommodate the amount of
junk food available.

If you buy bananas or avocados before they are ripe,
there won't be any left by the time they are ripe.  If
you buy them ripe, they rot before they are eaten.

How long a minute is depends on which side of the
bathroom door you're on.