Humor: Best of Fortunes for Friday August 17, 2012

What good is an obscenity trial except to popularize...
What good is an obscenity trial except to popularize literature? -- Nero Wolfe, "The League of Frightened Men"

When angry, count four; when very angry, swear...
When angry, count four; when very angry, swear. -- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is...
Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last you are going to see of him until he emerges on the other side of his Atlantic with his verb in his mouth. -- Mark Twain "A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's...

If Love Were Oil, I'd Be About A Quart Low --...
If Love Were Oil, I'd Be About A Quart Low -- Book title by Lewis Grizzard

If you can't be good, be careful. If you can't be careful,...
If you can't be good, be careful. If you can't be careful, give me a call.

If you love someone, set them free. If they don't come back,...
If you love someone, set them free. If they don't come back, then call them up when you're drunk.

In a great romance, each person basically plays a part that...
In a great romance, each person basically plays a part that the other really likes. -- Elizabeth Ashley

Let's just be friends and make no special effort to ever...
Let's just be friends and make no special effort to ever see each other again.

Let's not complicate our relationship by trying to communicate...
Let's not complicate our relationship by trying to communicate with each other.