Humor: Best of Fortunes for Thursday February 26, 2015

There once was a man from Racine, Who invented a screwing...
There once was a man from Racine, Who invented a screwing machine. Both concave and convex, It could please either sex, But, oh, what a bastard to clean!

There was a young poet named Dan, Whose poetry never would...
There was a young poet named Dan, Whose poetry never would scan. When told this was so, He said, "Yes, I know, It's because I try to put every possible syllable into that last line that I can."

As of next Thursday, UNIX will be flushed in favor...
As of next Thursday, UNIX will be flushed in favor of TOPS-10. Please update your programs.

As of next Tuesday, C will be flushed in favor of COBOL. Please...
As of next Tuesday, C will be flushed in favor of COBOL. Please update your programs.

As of next week, passwords will be entered in Morse code.
As of next week, passwords will be entered in Morse code.

Bell Labs Unix -- Reach out and grep someone.
Bell Labs Unix -- Reach out and grep someone.

Byte your tongue.
Byte your tongue.

C Code. C Code Run. Run, Code, RUN! PLEASE!!!!
C Code. C Code Run. Run, Code, RUN! PLEASE!!!!