Humor: Best of Fortunes for Friday February 27, 2015

A burlesque dancer, a pip Named Virginia, could peel in a zip; ...
A burlesque dancer, a pip Named Virginia, could peel in a zip; But she read science fiction And died of constriction Attempting a Moebius strip. -- Cyril Kornbluth, "The Unfortunate Topology"

A clerical student named Pryne Through pain sought to reach...
A clerical student named Pryne Through pain sought to reach the divine: He wore a hair shirt, Quite often ate dirt, And bathed every Friday in brine. -- Edward Gorey

A computer called Illiac4 Had a rather tough bug in its core...
A computer called Illiac4 Had a rather tough bug in its core. It chewed up its cards And spewed yards and yards Of illegible tape on the floor.

A computer, to print out a fact, Will divide, multiply,...
A computer, to print out a fact, Will divide, multiply, and subtract. But this output can be No more than debris, If the input was short of exact. -- Gigo

A dreary young bank clerk named Fennis Wished to foster an aura...
A dreary young bank clerk named Fennis Wished to foster an aura of menace; To make people afraid He wore gloves of grey suede And white footgear intended for tennis. -- Edward Gorey

A fisherman off of Cape Cod Said, "I'll bugger that tuna,...
A fisherman off of Cape Cod Said, "I'll bugger that tuna, by God!" But the high-minded fish Resented his wish, And nimbly swam off with his rod.

Last night I met upon the stair A little man who wasn't...
Last night I met upon the stair A little man who wasn't there. He wasn't there again today. Gee how I wish he'd go away!