Humor: Best of Fortunes for Sunday October 29, 2017

Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light...
Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Three. One to screw in the lightbulb and two to fend off all those Californians trying to share the experience.

Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in...
Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there. -- Josh Billings

A clever young man named Eugene Invented a jack-off machine...
A clever young man named Eugene Invented a jack-off machine. On the twenty-third stroke The fuckin' thing broke And beat both his balls to a creame.

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!

Rarely do people communicate; they just take turns talking.
Rarely do people communicate; they just take turns talking.