Humor: Best of Fortunes for Saturday August 25, 2018

...
======================================================================= || || || The FORTUNE-COOKIE program is soon to be a Major Motion Picture! || || Watch for it at a theater...

DELETE A FORTUNE! Don't some of these fortunes just drive...
DELETE A FORTUNE! Don't some of these fortunes just drive you nuts?! Wouldn't you like to see some of them deleted from the system? You can! Just mail to `fortune' with the fortune you hate most, and we'll make sure it gets expunged.

FROM THE DESK OF Rapunzel Dear...
FROM THE DESK OF Rapunzel Dear Prince: Use ladder tonight -- you're splitting my ends.

PLAYGIRL, Inc...
PLAYGIRL, Inc. Philadelphia, Pa. 19369 Dear Sir: Your name has been submitted to us with your photo. I regret to inform you that we will be unable to use your body in our centerfold. On a scale...

UNIX Trix For those of you in the reseller business, here is...
UNIX Trix For those of you in the reseller business, here is a helpful tip that will save your support staff a few hours of precious time. Before you send your next machine out to an untrained client, change the permissions on /etc/passwd to 666...

_-^--^=-_ _.-^^ -~_ ...
_-^--^=-_ _.-^^ -~_ _-- --_ < >) | | \._ _./ ```--. . , ;...

While Titian was mixing rose madder, His model reclined on...
While Titian was mixing rose madder, His model reclined on a ladder. Her position to Titian Suggested coition, So he leapt up the ladder and had 'er.