Humor: May 2018 - Best of Fortunes Motd - Message of the Day
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May 22, 2018
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Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of May, 2018


The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun...
The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. -- Buckminster Fuller

A tutor who tooted a flute Tried to tutor two tutors to toot ...
A tutor who tooted a flute Tried to tutor two tutors to toot Said the two to the tutor: "Is it harder to toot or To tutor two tutors to toot"

There was a young man from East Lizes Whose balls were of...
There was a young man from East Lizes Whose balls were of two different sizes One was so small It was no ball at all The other was large and won prizes.

There was a young man from Kent Whose tool was so long that...
There was a young man from Kent Whose tool was so long that it bent. To save himself trouble He put it in double And instead of coming, he went.

There was a young man from Nantucket Whose cock was so long...
There was a young man from Nantucket Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, While wiping his chin, "If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it."

"Here at the Phone Company, we serve all kinds of people;...
"Here at the Phone Company, we serve all kinds of people; from Presidents and Kings to the scum of the earth ..."

"I can resist anything but temptation."
"I can resist anything but temptation."

"I'd love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial...
"I'd love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on TV."

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly...
Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
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