Humor: February 2018 - Best of Fortunes Motd - Message of the Day
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Feb 24, 2018
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Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of February, 2018


There was a young woman named Alice Who peed in a Catholic...
There was a young woman named Alice Who peed in a Catholic chalice. She said, "I do this From a great need to piss, And not from sectarian malice."

There was an old lady of Bingly Who wailed, "I do hate...
There was an old lady of Bingly Who wailed, "I do hate to sleep singly. I thought I had got A bloke for my twat, But he seems rather queenly than kingly."

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Pardon this fortune. Database under reconstruction.
Pardon this fortune. Database under reconstruction.

YOU TOO CAN MAKE BIG MONEY IN THE EXCITING FIELD OF ...
YOU TOO CAN MAKE BIG MONEY IN THE EXCITING FIELD OF PAPER SHUFFLING! Mr. TAA of Muddle, Mass. says: "Before I took this course I used to be a lowly bit twiddler. Now with what I learned at MIT Tech I feel really important...

O imitators, you slavish herd! -- Quintus...
O imitators, you slavish herd! -- Quintus Horatius Flaccus (Horace)

Q: How many members of the U.S.S. Enterprise does it take...
Q: How many members of the U.S.S. Enterprise does it take to change a light bulb? A: Seven. Scotty has to report to Captain Kirk that the light bulb in the Engineering Section is getting dim, at which point Kirk will send ...

QUESTION AUTHORITY. (Sez who?)
QUESTION AUTHORITY. (Sez who?)

Quantum Mechanics is God's version of "Trust me."
Quantum Mechanics is God's version of "Trust me."
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