Humor: Best of Fortunes for Thursday January 24, 2019

A cautious young fellow named Tunney Had a whang that was worth...
A cautious young fellow named Tunney Had a whang that was worth any money. When eased in half-way, The girl's sigh made him say, "Why the sigh?" "For the rest of it, honey."

There was a poor parson from Goring, Who made a small hole...
There was a poor parson from Goring, Who made a small hole in his flooring, Fur-lined it all round, Then laid on the ground, And declared it was cheaper than whoring.

There was a young fellow named Hatch Who was fond of the music...
There was a young fellow named Hatch Who was fond of the music of Bach. He said: "It's not fussy Like Brahms and Debussy; Sit down, and I'll play you a snatch."

We don't claim Interactive EasyFlow is good for anything --...
We don't claim Interactive EasyFlow is good for anything -- if you think it is, great, but it's up to you to decide. If Interactive EasyFlow doesn't work: tough. If you lose a million because Interactive EasyFlow messes up, it's you that's out...

This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. If this...
This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. If this had been an actual emergency, do you really think we'd stick around to tell you?

Lots of folks are forced to skimp to support a government that...
Lots of folks are forced to skimp to support a government that won't.

Q: Why does Washington have the most lawyers per capita...
Q: Why does Washington have the most lawyers per capita and New Jersey the most toxic waste dumps? A: God gave New Jersey first choice.