Humor: Best of Fortunes for Thursday January 3, 2019

A burlesque dancer, a pip Named Virginia, could peel in a zip; ...
A burlesque dancer, a pip Named Virginia, could peel in a zip; But she read science fiction And died of constriction Attempting a Moebius strip. -- Cyril Kornbluth, "The Unfortunate Topology"

A computer called Illiac4 Had a rather tough bug in its core...
A computer called Illiac4 Had a rather tough bug in its core. It chewed up its cards And spewed yards and yards Of illegible tape on the floor.

A pansy who lived in Khartoum Took a lesbian up to his room...
A pansy who lived in Khartoum Took a lesbian up to his room. They argued all night Over who had the right To do what, with which, and to whom.

There was an old lady who lay With her legs wide apart in...
There was an old lady who lay With her legs wide apart in the hay, Then, calling the ploughman, She said, "Do it now, man! Don't wait till your hair has turned gray."