Freebsd Fortunes 5: 1962 of 2298 |
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21)
Move slowly today, be deliberate. Indications are for bleeding
ulcers. Drink milk. Try not to be your usual offensive and
obnoxious self. Call your mother.
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Freebsd Fortunes 5: 1963 of 2298 |
SAGITTARIUS (Nov.22 - Dec.21)
Your efforts to help a little old lady cross a street will
backfire when you learn that she was waiting for a bus. Subdue
impulse you have to push her out into traffic.
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Freebsd Fortunes 5: 1964 of 2298 |
Said the attractive, cigar-smoking housewife to her girl-friend: "I
got started one night when George came home and found one burning in
the ashtray."
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Freebsd Fortunes 5: 1965 of 2298 |
Sailing is fun, but scrubbing the decks is aardvark.
-- Heard on Noahs' ark
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Freebsd Fortunes 5: 1966 of 2298 |
Sailors in ships, sail on!
Even while we died, others rode out the storm.
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Freebsd Fortunes 5: 1967 of 2298 |
Saints should always be judged guilty until they are proved innocent.
-- George Orwell, "Reflections on Gandhi"
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Freebsd Fortunes 5: 1968 of 2298 |
Saliva causes cancer, but only if swallowed
in small amounts over a long period of time.
-- George Carlin
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Freebsd Fortunes 5: 1969 of 2298 |
Sally: C'mon, Ted, all I'm asking you to do is share your feelings
with me.
Ted: ALL? Do you realize what you're asking? Men aren't trained
to share. We're trained to protect ourselves by not
letting anyone too close. Good grief, if I go around
sharing everything with you, you could hang me out to dry.
Sally: It's called "trust," Ted.
Ted: "Sharing"? "Trust"? You're really asking me to sail into
uncharted waters here.
-- Sally Forth
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Freebsd Fortunes 5: 1970 of 2298 |
Sam: What do you know there, Norm?
Norm: How to sit. How to drink. Want to quiz me?
-- Cheers, Loverboyd
Sam: Hey, how's life treating you there, Norm?
Norm: Beats me. ... Then it kicks me and leaves me for dead.
-- Cheers, Loverboyd
Woody: How would a beer feel, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: Pretty nervous if I was in the room.
-- Cheers, Loverboyd
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Freebsd Fortunes 5: 1971 of 2298 |
Sam: What's the good word, Norm?
Norm: Plop, plop, fizz, fizz.
Sam: Oh no, not the Hungry Heifer...
Norm: Yeah, yeah, yeah...
Sam: One heartburn cocktail coming up.
-- Cheers, I'll Gladly Pay You Tuesday
Sam: Whaddya say, Norm?
Norm: Well, I never met a beer I didn't drink. And down it goes.
-- Cheers, Love Thy Neighbor
Woody: What's your pleasure, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: Boxer shorts and loose shoes. But I'll settle for a beer.
-- Cheers, The Bar Stoolie
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