Daily Fortunes

Apr 29, 2008

I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day cause that...
I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day cause that means it's going to be up all night. -- Steven Wright

I have a box of telephone rings under my bed. Whenever I...
I have a box of telephone rings under my bed. Whenever I get lonely, I open it up a little bit, and I get a phone call. One day I dropped the box all over the floor. The phone wouldn't stop ringing. I had to get it disconnected. So I got a new phone. I didn't have...

I have a dog; I named him Stay. So when I'd go to call him,...
I have a dog; I named him Stay. So when I'd go to call him, I'd say, "Here, Stay, here..." but he got wise to that. Now when I call him he ignores me and just keeps on typing. -- Steven Wright

I have a friend whose a billionaire. He invented Cliff's...
I have a friend whose a billionaire. He invented Cliff's notes. When I asked him how he got such a great idea he said, "Well first I... I just... to make a long story short..." -- Steven Wright

I have a hobby. I have the world's largest collection of...
I have a hobby. I have the world's largest collection of sea shells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you've seen some of it. -- Steven Wright

Daily Fortunes for Apr 29, 2008

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